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Love Alex!!!)
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Yeah yeah!!! me and dar ok le... hmmm let me start from wad had happen ytd... haiz... the two of us so lanlan... then not say quarrel la... but just both cannot compromise with each other... then me keep giving in then he like dun care... he's no longer tat swt and nice to me anymore... i say all the nice things to him yet i'm treated like tt...
Sunday the conversation ended... i knew i was at fault to speak like that but then of course ma... if we din meet for three days... of course i wanna c him too.. but then he msg me say he going to play soccer the next day and then die die also wanna meet me... haiz... sian...then meet awhile only might as while dun meet co later will make me miss him more then my day won't be good... then i read le of course wun feel happy ma... some more my hse got war!!! haiz...
But then after tt i called him then he tok to me like sian sian but he assured me tat he's ok... and i've said that i'll find him the next day... then on monday me END AT 6... shag... but the moment i saw him then i realised how much i missed him! BUT then he din even smiled when he looked at me... me hardly talk and hardly had any eye contact... the kisses were cold... but he said he was not feeling well and he was tired... we din tok much as compared to all everyday crazy day...sad sia... my heart broke when i saw him at this stage... i din noe the thingy i said on SUNDAY still affect him.... i tot everything was fine coz he said and assured me and i tot he was only tired.... then i msged him when he was palying soccer... his replies were so cold... cold...cold.. then i was like wad wrong hav i done.. n why r u doing this to me..iz all my fautlt...and "I SUX AND I HATE MYSELF are u happy now?"... sux... then he was like he dun meant tt and then tml then see if wanna meet anot... sux... I cried* oh no the tot of it make me wanna cry again... i was like i tried so hard to please him but he still... haiz... i felt so sad lah...
Last night sux... i wanna hurt myself but always the tot that i've proimised HIM ... i can't i cannot afford to lose him...
This morning off to fiona's BDAY celebration... he msged me ard 9 plus... and iz cold cold de... just merely greetings... and no baby? no dear? felt as if we were frens... but then it ended "ok... take care"... today me and gers (mel, pam, elena, fiona, and me) went wheelock place NYDC to makan... yummy* i miss the food there... the baked rice iz yummy... but all the while on the way there all the time i was thinking of HIM... only when we were at far east then i managed to be happier... :)we took lots of pics... but w/o me... coz i got no mood to take... then everything end around at 3 plus... then me msg HIM... i ask if will i disturb his family if i go up to find him? or he prefered me to meet him downstairs? then he msged me to meet him downstairs... so ya~
On the bus... two episodes of how our meeting will end up... iz either we patched or we became more lan lan... but the lan lan episode came flooding my mind!!! first one is i will leave the bronwnies at his hse and i'll leave after catching a glimpse of him... the next one is we dun meet at all and then we became worse.. we dun tok... then i'll faster fin all the proj stuff and then bad thing will happen ... u guys might not c me again...
but then i met my dar.. i was like... wad happen? y u like tt? then hehe then we sat at one place then we started to tok lor... cannot rem wad we've tok... but just tt that kind of feeling tt everything iz ok le... tt feeling iz so good lor... hehe... then i missed his smile... i can feel warmth again... haha so kua zhang but true lah... hmmm missed him so much.. din really get a chance to spend time wif him... haiz.. but then everything iz ok now... so YEAH YEAH!!! then he sent me home... then me waited the bus with him... haha then i noe wad I WANNA get for u for VDAY LE... hehe* pick ya choice k!!! haha... LOVE U BABY BOY!
btw i had pizza for reunion dinner... and i met Jiewei and royston today.. i miss JW... hmmm let's hang out someday again i miss my sec sch frens... haiz...tml will be tiring and i'll get to see Georgie again!!!!!!!!!!my heart sank once again being kept in the deepest ocean
LOVE ALEX TAN!!!!!!!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!! PEACE*
everlasting? kissed /
- Tuesday, February 08, 2005
