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why must i love u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Thursday, March 17, 2005
:`( tears kept flowing like spoilt water tap... SUX... listening to van's song.... zai zhe li fen shou... and ai qing cheng shi.... sad sad... the songs are real good.... i can't slp tonight... i think my tears will turn to blood man... iz act small thingy... but for the whole night was moments of silence... i guessed there's sumthing wrong... but i dunnoe where... i kept pestering him to say but he din wanna say to make things worse... then the more he dun say the more i think iz my fault...
then silence.. then END* then i called back... but things din get better... the truth iz out... my heart sank... so iz tt all wad i've said and done the other day was all worng... as i was just trying to express myself...i just wanna to tok to him and i got to have all this... to make myself more miserable... and just a small matter i deserve such thingy... sux man... iz the forth time i'm repeating the song...
i wanna leave this hse... if ever i cld to move out with SAM...maybe iz just tt i'm getting to be like dri to be like too dependent on the him... maybe we need some space to really breathe.... i asked many if my actions were wrong... they gave feedbacks that all gers are like tt.... i'm so sad by my family... everyone going their own way.. no longer like a family anymore... no warmth... no nth... but troubles and troubles.. seem to be surfacing soon... financial prob...sis and dad... and a gambler bro(not to the bad extend)... i'm sure to have goldfish eyes tml... no mood to dance le.... my sky seems to be suffocating me...
why love has to be so suffocating at times... i've fallen into a deep hole unable to reach out... heart stopped....memories flashed back... i felt so dead...tokin to gf... so good... she brighten up my day... iz always like tt when u falls deeply in love....u commit too much the more u get hurt.......... i shall end here......
everlasting? kissed /
- Thursday, March 17, 2005