(
you brot me to the heaven and then u push me down to hell)
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
u brot me to the heaven and u gave me hope..NOW i'm once again pushed down with my wings broken... with no strength and soul... suffocating!
i am sad and real sad... after so long of happiness and swtness in life when i was bout to c my highway of happiness for not feeling down for so long... i'm once again beaten down...i cannot stop tearing... i blame for whu i am and what i do....
i wonder wad is the definition for friend?i sux... Prev i had friends whu real care for me and understand me but i dun appreciate them.. then NOW pple i appreciate and i make a lot of effort dun appreciate me... iz got to be retribution....
I changed! i had always been willing to help, share and doing wadever things for friends... but as i grew up pple had jealousy and blah blah... pple turn to dun appreciate all the things i had done and i had slowly let it go and i turining to be one of them... whu can i trust now? i got no warmth from my family... now even my beloved man has hurt me... tho iz a small matter and he din mean for wad he had said... izzen it frm the bottom of ya heart... i'm so hurt.... i felt like broken into pieces... can never be back again... only today at work then i realise tt iz the only time i can forget a bout it... if not on the way to work and after work i had been rening... tolerating and holding back my tears... several times i am wiping my tears in the pantry... he waited for me since 10 and i reached ard 12... i drank 3 glasses of plum wine...how i wish i cld drunk myself... but the drink was nice...i was real happy to see him the thing seems to be gone and appear when i see him... though wad he says had hurt me but it dun hurt tt much and iz no matter impt when he is ard with me... but the scene still flashes on my mind... i can say i am a petty person but u knew wad had happen...
all i can say iz i HATE myself now... pple shun care about me... and let me be...
these few days finally projects are soon ending... i felt so much happier... and better coz the loads are getting lesser and i dun have to stress myself so much and make myself frustrated...........
everlasting? kissed /
- Tuesday, August 09, 2005
