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Moving on to the other end)
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
wad a perfect VDAY i had... all which i could not imagine it was me who make things turn out bad... i dunnoe whu's fault it is but i know he walked away... i burst into tears which i never wanted to... i wanted a puff so much the moment i reach home... i cooled myself outside my hse so as to hide my red eyes from them...
everything was so great during the dinner.. and we had pizza ... fun and laughter... but then we ended up in BT plaza playing pool... which the tot of why are we here during vday? but then i was enjoying myself for the first two games but then it was pretty sian when two person play tog... recently we had nothing to tok a bout and this made me very sad... i always ask him to tok to me... it was like pretty dumb and foolish of me.... and the journey was quiet... i tested him like saying here hurts or wad hurts he din care abt me... then i looked away then... till we reach the bus stop the thing begins... i told him i find bored... i suppose i din expect my vday to turn out like tt... guess wad happen... we were out for dinner and my bf ask if i had brot enough money tt was one thing... i mean he din even plan anything... but for presents yes.. and it was not a surprise but a surprise coz he told me wad he had bot for me a week ago... i was surprise then... MAYBE i demand too much and he now dislikes me..... i ask to go ntuc later then he say where got time to go... i my heart i think he din even think for me... sad...
i was so hurt when he was so harsh to me on the sms and even today i met him... his sms today was so cold and short... nowawdays i msg him in the morning he will take ages to reply me... think he just dun wanna tok to me... just maybe trying to forget me or avoid him... i was so happy tt i could see him today at least in my heart... last night i cry till i could hardly breathe.. and the feeling tt u want to cry but u cannot coz ya dad i outside... shitz.... i felt so xin ku... then met le his eyes were so cold... i felt so small... i cannot stand till i went in to find mandy and i can't satnd it and i cried... i dunnoe why he reacts this way ...maybe like wad mandy says he still cannot get over it... but i felt so hurt inside... guess i'm too reliable on him le... so serve me right and this is my retribution for being unfilial to my parents now...
I ought to be put to death... who DO I THINK I AM!!!!! FUCK!
i tried to not bother him tt much le... i try to be independent le... do i have to cry to sleep everynight? my eyes cracked.... it hurts so much and MAKE sure it make me blind one day... how i wish...if this carries on...
it was all my fault I CHANGED tt was wad he said.... I CHANGED tt makes him think wad IS NOT BORED TO ME... I CHANGED as he think he SPOILT me... he had been compromising giving in to me all the time.... I CHNAGED and i'll really change oneday till the Me itself die!
everlasting? kissed /
- Wednesday, February 15, 2006
