(
the change)
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
my feeling now is like numb... maybe it was the sudden change from having fun to serious work in the childcare... for the first time in the childcare i felt so alone... so alone with the children and kinda unsure of wad is going to happen next and wad am i suppose to do? anyone can understand this? argh... so tiring tho i was there like 12 to 5.. i felt like a fool i dunnoe why... i dun really noe what is expected from me.. but in my mind i was thinking i mustmake use of the time to improve myself... but the first day interacting with the children was like i think i prefer toddlers.. maybe i spent more time and i know them well i think toddlers easier to teach... is it true? but this mth topic is recycling easy but i realsie my ideas stopped at the last week which means i had run out of ideas!
alex said he was tired and then after a nap yes he was enegetic to go meet his friends... so contradicting... bcoz of tt i have to eat maggie... argh! and he dun even feell bad like hey babe cannot meet u but now i going to meet my friend... cannot help la i am such person... esp today somany things happen and i nearly fell at my hse condo entrance and pple stepped on my feet... i felt so helpless.. and irritated and i was so hungry...then when i was so helpless then he was sleeping... i was like i must be strong i tell myself...
i my mind i was so tired so tired tt i wanna pple to look after me be taken care of... afterall being so independent is so so tiring... moreover so many things happen since sunday... went out dinner to celebrate his bday but my visa cannot go thru.. i went to two atms one at mrt and the other walking dist at bras basah.. but all break down.. i was so helpless.. and to celebrate his bday i asked for advance payment... then in the end he paid and i paid him back... but worse thing was next day my a/c was deducted thrice!!!! gosh i was then left with 16 bucks in my a/c... damn laggy tired and helpless..it was not my mistake it was a sudden suay thing happen... then ya the whole monday was like down to settle and cal the rest and call the bank.. and money will be recovered 15days...
anyone knows how i feel deep inside... i felt like why i work so hard i did nothing bad why am i deserving such things in my life... sia... sianz... sob*
but the dinner was great we had great time.. and monday sentosa and eating at hanabi was great! i had tons of fun with alex... we went to underwater world... sat on luge...and sky ride... yesh it was awesome fun
haiz- i hate my life sia
everlasting? kissed /
- Tuesday, August 29, 2006
